Dr. Frank-N-Furter’s Guide On How Not to Build a Boyfriend
#86 Carmen Jones (1954)
A sex crazed factory worker corrupts a dumbass American soldier, and when she tries to exert bodily autonomy after their relationship ends, he strangles her to death. Cute.
#88 Tommy (1975)
Who knew that the sound of childhood trauma could be so goddamn catchy?
#89 Head (1968)
Head is essentially The Monkees’ former-Disney star “I’m an adult!” moment in an attempt to break free of their preassigned roles and become Serious Artists.
#52 Help! (1965)
Help! is a wacky hybrid James Bond and Wile E. Coyote-esque romp, and its camera work doesn’t make me want to blow chunks!
#4 A Hard Day’s Night (1964)
A Hard Day’s Night is an excellent exercise in marketing. Its only redeeming factor is the charisma of the Beatles themselves, assuming you are someone who finds them charismatic.
#90 The Jazz Singer (1927)
TCM coming in clutch so I could watch the “first” talkie, with the “first” on-screen performance of Al Jolson.
#65 Beauty and the Beast (2017)
Just add this one to the long list of cash grab remakes that don’t understand what made the source material great.
#91 Cry-Baby (1990)
It took insane amounts of restraint for me not to make this a Traci Lords appreciation post.
#92 Labyrinth (1986)
See, this is what happens when you try to shirk your babysitting duties by giving your little brother to a creepy old man.