It’s 1947 and the marriage bug is apparently contagious.
Y’know, I’m fairly certain Fred Astaire’s movies comes up on this list more than any other actor or actress. This is yet another traditional “couple of show folks getting into shenanigans” story, but the one difference here is Jane Powell. And this week we will focus on her two collaborations with director Stanley Donen. I will write about Mr. Donen several more times before the end of this project, which is great, because he does some crazy creative things in his films that make them stand outs in this genre.
I was first introduced to Jane in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (which you’ll be treated to later this week), and boy, she made an impression. She has a robust voice that holds its own against everyone, especially that sexy baritone of Howard Keel, but I had *no idea* she could dance as well as she does here. Full transparency, I’ve been binging Fred and Ginger movies because they were leaving HBO Max, so I figured this would be a nice change of pace where I’d be treated to a beautiful voice, but light on the dancing. This would have been totally fine, not everyone has to be Fred or Ginger. But nope, Jane Powell can tap dance the pants right off you.
These skills aren’t immediately showcased in the first few performances of this movie, however. In Royal Wedding, Fred and Jane play Tom and Ellen, a brother and sister dancing duo who select very questionable romance-based musical numbers for their act. I would SEVERELY roll my eyes at a 30 year age difference for a romantic relationship, but it’s somehow more hilarious that they’re supposed to be siblings because he could feasibly be her father instead of her brother. Paired with the fact he constantly calls her baby and honey, their on-screen pairing was just steeped in Weird Vibes TM. For example, their first number together, “Every Night at Seven”, features Fred/Tom as a king making the moves on a maid who works in the palace, his sister, Jane/Ellen.
After their show has completed its run, we’re introduced to the premise of the film – Tom and Ellen’s agent Irving informs them they’ve been invited to England to perform their show during the several week lead-up to THE royal wedding between Queen (then princess) Elizabeth and Phillip Mountbatten. The self-assured and charismatic Ellen is a bit of a serial dater, and several men are disappointed when she departs on an ocean liner to head across the pond. Tom, on the other hand, has no interest in dating whatsoever, with his singular focus being their upcoming gig. This gets awkward when Ellen makes heart eyes at another man on board she would rather spend her time with, and Tom is forced to find ways to entertain himself.
Once the ship’s captain discovers he’s got two famous performers on board, he recruits them to perform after dinner. They’re warned the ship may be hitting some rough waves, but Tom decides to move forward full speed ahead. Ellen shrugs her shoulders and uses the opportunity to seduce Lord John, her latest romantic attraction.
Dude, I just love this. Jane’s voice starts off heavenly and strong, and as the ship hits choppier water the whole number devolves into chaos. I was chuckling at the fruit rolling by, but when the drum barreled into them I totally lost it. This is clever and impressive, and foreshadows future inside-the-box dance numbers we’ll be treated to. Also, Jane deserves a medal for sliding around in those heels.
Once the duo arrives in London, Tom accosts a poor woman in the street. Much like in Swing Time, this lady, Anne, becomes Fred’s new dance partner in the show they’re producing. He asks her on a date, and it isn’t until after dinner, drinks, and a visit to the woman’s father to shake him down for an alimony payment, that Anne reveals she’s engaged to a jolly old chap from Chicago named Hal that will totally marry her once he’s saved up enough money, never mind he hasn’t called her in 2 months. Tom continues to date Anne anyway without the promise of romance, while Ellen and John’s relationship gets more serious every time Ellen sings at him.
After several weeks of rehearsal, the show goes off without a hitch, and Jane and Fred have yet another bizarrely-toned number together that features a very strange bit where they put on some really cheap accents.
How are they tap dancing and chewing gum like that?! And just like, as a general question, why has tap dancing come out of favor in modern day? It’s so much fun to watch. When I was a child in the 90’s, my only exposure to tap dancing was little girls shuffling away to “Animal Crackers in my Soup” at the Community Center and Michael Flatley’s showboaty Riverdance phenomenon (which, for someone with Irish heritage, was fucking annoying to be constantly associated with). Is it because tap dancing is connected to a time of great prosperity and optimism and we haven’t been the mood for it as our mental health has declined? Or do we not want to be interested in things that our parents (or grandparents) thought were cool?
Anyway, after opening night when Anne’s fiancé Hal fails to call from Chicago and congratulate her, Tom’s rightfully intuits the situation as sus and asks his agent Irving’s British brother Edgar (both played by Peter Lawford in a Parent Trap-esque split-screen situation) to get Irving to conduct a background check on Anne’s Yank “boyfriend”. Although their relationship is supposed to be platonic while he waits for news from the States, Tom struggles not to get his hopes up as he’s completely smitten with Anne.
“You’re All the World to Me” is the standout performance of this film because Fred blew everyone’s fucking minds by dancing on the furniture, then the walls, and then the ceiling. It’s so cool to watch, especially since my first exposure of this filming method of a stationary camera hooked to a moving room were MTV-era music videos that didn’t fully take advantage of the medium.
“Virtual Insanity” really fascinated me when I was a child, and the room isn’t even rotating, it’s only sliding around. Also, I love that when the blood comes out at the end everything remains stationary because they didn’t want to replicate what happens when a roomba sucks up a dog turd. Whatever happened to Jamiroquai, anyway? Did Napoleon’s rendition of “Canned Heat” kill their career?
Guys, this will be the first (and probably only time) a reference I make to Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo is *actually* relevant to the conversation. It’s the best homage to this, really, so kudos to Michael “Boogaloo Shrimp” Chambers for making dancing on the ceiling look as much fun as Fred Astaire being in love. Other applications of this technique in music videos are mostly people sliding around and not taking the actual room movement into account during the choreography. But let me tell you the joy I felt listening to Mark McGrath talk about using Royal Wedding as an inspiration for “Fly”. That man is full of surprises.
Anyway, after the fun number, we get Fred acting like a creep because he’s discovered that Hal has married someone else, leaving Anne single and available to date. I swear, this movie’s musical number formula is just Easter Parade with different clothes on.
Singing and dancing about Haiti as an American is… an interesting choice to make while the US were a military presence in their country, simultaneously being a loan shark and a hired murder squad to take out any political dissidents. But hey, their white people are beautiful, it’s easy to get distracted and forget a hat!
I take that back, the alternative of them not casting a single black person to play the Haitians is the dancers wearing blackface, which is objectively worse. And y’all haven’t even seen my Swing Time post, yet. It’s not a Fred Astaire movie unless we get at least one questionable dance number that references a culture he’s not a part of. Not to mention, this is just a bizarre number to end the movie with as it has absolutely nothing to do with the story whatsoever.
But finally, the day of the royal wedding arrives and Ellen and Tom decide to take a cue from Elizabeth and Phillip and impulsively marry John and Anne even though they’ve only known each other a few weeks. The end.
Royal Wedding features several outstanding dance numbers that not only are iconic in their own right, but also changed how choreography and cinematography collaborate. It’s unfortunate these numbers are strung together with a plot that’s a bit of a dud. Thankfully Gentlemen Prefer Blondes comes a few years later where we get an entertaining version of the story of a double act traveling to Europe on a ship, dancing in a gym, and beginning a romance that ends with a double wedding.