Slick your hair back and grab your team jacket, we’re hand-jiving our way through Grease, a movie about bunch of hot, self-motivated ladies with their whole futures ahead of them settling for a bunch of schmucks.
Grease is a strange experience to relive as an adult, because it was (as I suspect with a lot of people) ever-present in my childhood, and I didn’t understand the great majority of references then. This movie was intended as an 8th birthday present from my mother; I came home from school one day and the VHS was sitting on our kitchen countertop unwrapped. I didn’t recognize it, so when I asked my mom what it was, she feigned confusion for about 10 seconds before she gave up and said, “I bought it for your birthday, I guess you get it early now.” She promised me I’d like it when I popped it into the VHS player, and she wasn’t wrong. I hadn’t watched this movie in over a decade and I still could recite the majority of the dialogue.
While this movie is a toned down significantly from the stage show, it is still fairly raunchy in parts. What is kind of hilarious to me is Grease’s gradual shift in categorization over time as a “kids musical”. In 5th grade, my sister played Sandy in her elementary school’s production of it. I asked if she remembered any of the lines they changed to keep things “appropriate” (the Kidz Bopification, if you will) and she responded, “No, I just thought it was weird I had to go out and buy a sexy outfit.” Conversely, my 5th grade play was about the history of America and I dressed up like Martha Washington. I’ll never forget the 50 Nifty United States from 13 original colonies… SHOUT ‘em, SCOUT ‘em, TELL all about ‘em, ONE BY ONE till we’ve given a day to every state in the U-S-A. AL-A-bama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, CON-NE-TI-CUT…
Anyway, do I think it’s weird that a movie about a bunch of horny teenagers has become Baby’s First Adult Musical? Sorta. Not really. I mean, the dudes act like children for the majority of this, so I’m not surprised, at least. It had, for sure, turned me off from wanting to date high school dudes when I was in high school. The high school girls, however… we’ll get there.
It’s the first day of school, and the oldest high school seniors I’ve ever seen are poised to take on their last year at Rydell High. The “T” Birds and their very uncool matching jackets are reunited after a summer apart and their super-senior leader Kenickie, played by the late Jeff Conaway, regales the tale of lugging boxes to earn money for a sweet ride, which you could feasibly do back in the 1950s. Danny, played by John Travolta, spent his summer getting action at the beach, which he eloquently describes as “flippin’”.
Frenchy and her new neighbor Sandy rendezvous with the Pink Ladies, who have very cool matching jackets and the unabashed confidence to go with them. Stockard Channing, who plays Rizzo, is turned off by Sandy’s pure, seemingly holier-than-thou persona, and is dismayed when Sandy starts to describe her sickly sweet summer romance. Her interest is only piqued when Sandy mentions her hunky date was notorious playboy and Rizzo’s ex, Danny Zuko.
Sidenote: When I was a child, I thought Sonny asked if her “jugs were bigger than her nets”. I asked my mother what “nets” were, since I surmised that jugs meant breasts, and she didn’t know, which I thought was weird. It wasn’t until THIS MOMENT that I realized he was asking if her jugs were bigger than Annette’s. Who the fuck is Annette? Like the Mickey Mouseketeer Annette?! Rizzo sings about her later and I’m just like.. this revelation has lead to more questions than answers.
Rizzo hatches a plan to call Danny out on his shit and reunite Sandy with Danny at the school pep rally, as they know her boyfriend is an asshat. He predictably reacts maturely; Not wanting to admit his previous story of getting fresh with some cute Australian girl down in the sand was somewhat hyperbolic, he plays it off like he doesn’t give a shit about her, reducing Sandy to tears. Frenchy comforts Sandy like the supportive queen that she is and invites her to join the Pink Ladies at a sleepover.
Honestly, a Pink Ladies sleepover looks lit as fuck. As a kid (and now, tbh) I was Jan, I wanted to be Marty, I wanted to fuck Rizzo, and I wanted Frenchy as my best friend. I would totally be down to drink champagne, eat Twinkies and mutilate our body parts with needles. Sandy is a bit of a late bloomer and reacts to these series of events by puking. Rizzo decides to be a bit of a slag and make fun of Sandy for being an inexperienced virgin before shimming down a drainpipe to get laid by some jerk with a shitty car and a 6-year-old condom.
Sandy, whose night has done nothing to alleviate her heartbreak, sings a song about being in love with a coward. Part of the deal Oliva Newton-John signed to be cast in this movie specified she have her own solo number, so “Hopelessly Devoted” was written and filmed after the rest of the movie had been completed. This feels pretty obvious, since it gives off a very strong 1970s pop Best Original Song vibe. When I was a kid, I used this song as a break to use the bathroom or grab a snack, but as an adult I find myself humming it every so often.
Speaking of contract-obligated solos, we’re treated to a Travolta-led “Greased Lightning”, which I always thought was weird, cause like, who is going to sing a song about their friend getting tit in their sweet car? Jeff Conaway played Danny on Broadway, he deserved better… Also, I’m CONVINCED this song got the Pop-Up Video treatment, but couldn’t find it online anywhere. Otherwise, how the hell else would the fact that they thought John Travolta putting the saran wrap on his crotch was too racy live rent free in my head for like 20 years?
After encountering Sandy on a date with a jock, Danny decides he’s going to join a sports team to prove to her he can be a motivated team player. Instead, he just physically assaults several members of his school, but it’s fine because he’s wearing a uniform when he does it. This is enough to impress Sandy, as she accepts Danny’s invitation to the school dance.
The other gang members are going through their own drama, as Rizzo is sick of giving it up to Kenickie without receiving a modicum of respect.
“A hickey from Kenickie is like a Hallmark card. When you care enough to send the very best.”
Danny regresses and continues to act like a shithead to Sandy in front of her friends.
“I don’t like tea.”
“You don’t have to drink tea!”
“Well, I don’t like parents.”
Jan and Putzie begin an innocent and adorable romance, which proves it’s possible to start off a relationship with mutual respect, even if your friends make fun of you for it.
“I also think there’s more to you than just fat.”
“…Thanks.”
I love this scene, there’s so many good lines.
Frenchy, who had dropped out of Rydell to pursue a career in cosmetology, is also in crisis as her stint in beauty school went very poorly. After hours, she somehow hallucinates Frankie Avalon advising her to get her high school degree.
As a child, I was so proud of myself when I realized all these women played other roles in the movie, as if facial recognition was an important skill.
The day of the big dance finally arrives, as National Bandstand comes to Rydell High with roofie-wielding predator and television host Vince Fontaine. Rizzo arrives with the leader of the rival gang, while Kenickie has his best girl, Cha Cha, as his date, because they are both very well-adjusted teenagers that know how to work through conflict by communicating and not using desperate attempts to make each other jealous. Danny and Sandy are cutting up a rug until Sonny attempts to physically assault Sandy, and Danny just lets it happen because another one of his exes, Cha Cha, starts to dance with him while Sandy is rebuffing Sonny’s advances. Cha Cha and Danny subsequently win the contest. Honestly, this is so fucked up, I would have dropped Danny after this lapse of good judgement.
But no, Sandy still allows him to take her on a date to the drive-in, and it’s not until he elbows her in the boob and then tries to cop a feel in front of everybody that she finally blows him off. Then he has the absolute gall to act emo about it because he’s afraid people will think he’s a loser. Jesus Christ.
Kenickie is also hurting, as he discovers that Rizzo is pregnant and she doesn’t want anything to do with him, regardless of what being an unwed mother will do to her reputation. He decides to process these emotions by racing Greased Lighting for pink slips, as he likes to live his life a quarter mile at a time. Unfortunately, Danny steals Kenickie’s thunder (road) yet again, as he’s forced to take his place in the race because of a car door-related closed head injury. Sandy is impressed by Danny’s driving skillz and decides to sex herself up for an unreliable and emotionally manipulative teenager. Danny has a similar inclination and decides to put on a nice sweater to win Sandy back, which is something, I guess. They declare they’re the one each other needs, oh yes indeed.
The school year ends, and all the boys end up paired with the girls. Rizzo finds out she’s not pregnant and reunites with Kenickie?! Marty ends up with Sonny even though he’s a handsy creep. Danny and Sandy are just an mess with incompatible expectations of each other. But at least Jan and Putzie and Frenchy and Doodie are fairly inoffensive. The end.
This movie is great, even all these years later. The entire cast is fantastic, even those with smaller bit parts. I was *living* for the school staff, Principal McGee and Coach Calhoun especially. Grease also jump started my lifelong love for Stockard Channing. She’s great in The West Wing, but her part as Sister Husband in Where the Heart Is may be my favorite performance of hers. I’ve watched that movie so many times I can’t even call it a guilty pleasure, I love it so much.
Olivia Newton-John wasn’t even sure she wanted to be in this movie and requested a screen test so she could see if she was good at acting. John Travolta was enamored with her and helped convince Olivia she was perfect for the part, and he wasn’t wrong. She gives such a strong performance as Sandy; I bought her transformation from clean-cut cinnamon roll to sexpot completely. John Travolta was also unbelievably charming as Danny, and I found myself giggling at his line deliveries constantly.
The songs are also unbelievably catchy (albeit somewhat annoying after you’ve heard them 700 times). Barry Gibb, my favorite Pras-adjacent composer, wrote the theme for the movie and it just bops so hard. As a well-documented detractor of Doo Wop music, there’s not a whole lot else here for me, but that’s not going to blind me to the excellence of this soundtrack. There is a reason this movie is revered as much as it is. 10/10, fun for the whole family, as long as the kids don’t understand the references.