Mary Poppins Returns is a sequel that’s just a remake in a thinly veiled disguise.
I’ll give Disney just the tiniest, itty bittyiest bit of credit, because they could have straight up remade Mary Poppins. Instead, they actually put in the effort to create a new story and write all new songs, even if it follows the format identically and kind of retcons the message of the original movie.
A small tangent before we begin: My mother would always give some snide comment when we watched Disney movies that killed off the mother, because she felt personally slighted that Disney was perpetuating the idea (consciously or unconsciously) that mothers were not important. God forbid you were a step mother, because then you were truly the scum of the earth. As a writer, killing off one or both parents is an easy thing to do to remove any barriers that would prevent the children in your stories from having big adventures. Either mom’s dead because dad “wouldn’t care” if he didn’t know where his children were, both parents are dead and the kid is being watched by some family member that feels burdened by their existence, or the kid is sent off to a boarding school somewhere and can semi-easily sneak away from any authority figures. I feel like it’s sort of uncommon for a story targeted toward children to emotionally process the loss of that parent(s). For all the catty things I’m about to say about this movie being a drop-and-place replacement for the original, I do think Mary Poppins Returns did a fairly good job at illustrating healthy coping mechanisms.
Michael and Jane Banks are a few decades older, with Michael residing in their old family home with his three young children. Earlier that year, Michael’s wife passed away, and he is clearly grieving the loss of her while simultaneously assuming all the household duties. Michael is a teller at the bank his father worked for, and after experiencing some issues with making ends meet, he took out a loan that he had forgotten to send a few payments for. The bank reacted to this in a proportionate way by requesting Michael now pay off the entirety of the loan by the end of the week, otherwise he loses the house. Jane remembers her father, a typically meticulously organized and regimented person, rat-holed away some bank shares that Michael could use to pay off the loan, but neither her nor Michael know where they’re hidden inside the house.
The two older children, noticing that their father is struggling, have assumed roles no children should take on, like calling plumbers and strategizing purchasing groceries with the small amount of money their father gives them. Cue Mary Poppins.
The youngest and most unruly child deviates from their mission for food to fly Jane and Michael’s old kite he found in the attic while looking for bank shares. The wind takes it away, and when it is reeled in, it’s carrying more than any of the children expected.
When Mary Poppins returns to the Banks household, Jane and Michael remember her instantly. Having just been told that in his house will be foreclosed on unless he coughs up an insane amount of money, Michael is unwilling to hire her. Jane counters with the But it’s Mary Poppins defense, and he caves.
Mary immediately insists on the children taking their medicine taking a bath, and magical hijinks ensue.
Everyone got all salty about Bedknobs and Broomsticks being too close to Mary Poppins (even though it’s not), but here we are almost 50 years later dabbling in the charming wonder of “Beautiful Briny Sea”, because every good movie needs an underwater level.
But this only brings momentary respite from their current predicament, as their father still doesn’t have the money to save the house. The kids brainstorm ideas to get cash fast, and one of them suggests pawning a bowl in their nursery that used to be their mother’s. The other two children are not convinced on this plan, however, and a fight breaks out, where they inadvertently drop and crack the bowl. Mary Poppins notices the painting on the bowl is damaged and decides to jump into the chalk painting jump into the bowl to fix it. They repair a broken carriage by tying a scarf around it and then detour to a Royal Music Hall so Mary Poppins can perform this delightful number to promote literacy, um diddle diddle diddle, um diddle ay!
I acknowledge that Lin Manuel Miranda is a delightful person and a talented composer, but… dude is not a very strong singer. He excels at his whiney rap shtick, which is his aesthetic, and good for him, because he’s made bank on it! I personally can’t get over the corniness of Hamilton because it reminds me of the scene in 10 Things I Hate About You where the lit teacher starts rapping Shakespeare to appeal to The Youths. But, LMM is kind of perfect for Disney movies because he’s “edgy” in a completely non-offensive way. His accent is about as believable as Dick Van Dyke’s, but he gives his “I’m just an man enamored by everything” smile and I kinda shrug like, whatever, I guess we’re doing this.
Anyway, some weird thing happens with a cartoon wolf trying to steal Georgie’s stuffed giraffe, and the children wake up in their beds from a nightmare. When Mary Poppins comforts them, the children finally admit they miss their mother. She sings them her version of “In the Sweet By and By”, using a metaphor about losing toys to teach them that although things aren’t in your life forever, the memories you have will never go away.
For whatever reason, even though I’m like the least maternal person on the planet, sad children will 100% make me cry. I literally cannot watch Pan’s Labyrinth, Changeling, or Grave of the Fireflies because I turn into a complete basket case afterward. I got all choked up watching this, so good job everyone, turns out I’m not made of stone.
The next morning, Mary Poppins takes them to visit her cousin Topsy to watch her laugh on the ceiling repair the cracked bowl, but Topsy’s having her own set of issues. Mary teaches her every hardship that turns her world upside down can be viewed from a different angle and leveraged into a learning experience. Topsy accepts her chaotic life and agrees to fix the bowl the audience never sees again. After leaving Topsy’s house, the children head over to the bank to visit their father at his place of employment and fulfill the long standing family tradition of almost getting him fired.
On the way home, Burt Jack tries to cheer them up by Stepping in Time Tripping a Little Light Fantastic while teaching them how to speak leerie like Austin Power’s dad. Three things:
- I didn’t know BMX biking was so popular during the great depression.
- If you’re gonna pole dance, commit to it.
- If I saw a pack of white dudes heading toward my house waving tiki torches while shouting, I’d be strapping on my body armor.
When they get home, their father has a full-on meltdown in front of his children about losing the house, and their attempts to cheer him up make him realize he’s been focusing on the wrong issue. Instead of worrying about coming up with a large sum of money, he should have been concerned with how his children have been coping after losing their mother. After a hug and a cry, the family accepts that life will have ups and downs, and they’ll feel like they’ve lost things, but as long as they hold on to each other, they’re never truly empty. They have a nice moment packing their things, thanking their house for its service, saying goodbye to their neighbors, and reassuring them and each other that they will persevere because they have a strong support structure.
And then the movie undercuts that tender message by magically finding the shares of the stock glued to the kite, as if their monetary stability is directly tied to regaining their childlike wonder. Because, you see children, if you clasp your house tightly in your hands, it dies. But if you let it return to the bank because you defaulted on your mortgage, a series of compassionate bankers will talk about fiscal responsibility and eventually give it back to you because as a kid you let your dad put 2 tuppence into a savings account to accrue interest.
This is the exact moment Mary’s soul leaves her body as she watches all of her hard work imparting a non-consumerist mentality in the Banks’ family pass before her eyes like dust in the wind.
But hey, after getting the house back Angela Lansbury will sing a song to remind them what it’s like to be a child, and who among us could possibly be treated to such a wonderful reward?
The end of Mary Poppins Returns is my favorite part of the movie, and the only thing I’ll concede is better than the original. “Let’s Go Fly a Kite” is lame because kite flying is dumb and boring after like 5 minutes. But flying over London with a balloon looks rad as hell, and I’m a sucker for show-ending musical numbers that involve the whole cast.
Now that the Banks’ family has their homestead returned to them, Mary Poppins fucks off into the night, awaiting for another opportunity to compensate for some other parent’s inadequacies. The end.
Also, Willoughby is a great name for a dog, even though it reminds me of that fuckhead from “Sense and Sensibility”.