Cabaret is what happens when you pay attention to the performance on stage and willfully ignore the atrocities happening behind it.

Liza Minnelli star vehicle and Moulin Rouge/Chicago prototype Cabaret is one of two Fosse directed movies on this list.  There would have been three Fosse projects on this list if How to Succeed in Business was included, BUT I DIGRESS.

Picture it: Germany, 1931.  Brian Roberts (played by Basil Exposition himself Michael York), travels to Berlin from England in order to work as an English teacher.  Michael York actually heard the casting director was looking for a “Michael York-type” for this role, so Michael asked his agent if he could book an audition because he believed he qualified.  This feels so on-brand it hurts.

Brian takes up lodging at a boarding house and is immediately greeted by fellow renter and human whirlwind Sally Bowles, a performer at the Kit Kat Klub with the most stunning eyelashes ever to grace a human face.  She gives him the rundown of the place, offers him a prairie oyster (side of toothpaste), and invites him to her club to see the show and meet her friends.

“Mein Herr” is my favorite number in Cabaret (although it’s very hard to pick a favorite since all the performances are stellar).  Liza Minnelli is so freaking great in this, I caaaaan’t.  She is unabashedly confident, and it oozes from her every pore.  She said the poses Fosse wanted the dancers to hit on the chairs were impossible until the crew finally nailed them to the ground.  They are iconic, though – I was in awe of Liza perched on the chair with her leg up on the back, and that image stuck with me long after I saw the movie for the first time.  Alan Cumming joked this number is why Liza got a double hip replacement.

Sally, acting like every overzealous theater kid who is a big fish in a small pond, buzzes around the club introducing Brian to Fritz, a German social climber who wants to improve his English (and who Sally primed to agree to pay for lessons from Brian like the legendary manager she is).  Sally and Brian ignore the fact the club owner gets the shit beat out of him by Nazis, and go to grab some food and scream under trains at the top of their lungs for funsies.  Later, Sally attempts to make a pass at Brian and is rebuffed, as he is not attracted to her, or any women for that fact (and he’s tried).  While initially hurt, she is accepting of Brian’s sexuality and tells Brian it will not change their friendship.

A few days later, during Brian’s first tutoring session with Fritz, Natalia Landauer stops by for her tutoring appointment afterward.  Fritz’s eyes see Reichsmarks as Natalia’s part of a wealthy family that owns a department store.  Fritz decides he wants to marry her sight unseen, even though she’s Jewish, because he’s not prejudiced and her dad would probably give him a job.  How admirable.  Sally returns to her room to see this party forming and throws a fit, even though she had offered her room to Brian to conduct his English lessons out of because her room was larger than his.  Sally tries to sabotage the gettogether by bringing up syphilis to a repressed heiress, because Sally’s an attention whore who needs everyone to love her the most.

Brian, Sally, Natalia and Fritz pal around together on several outings, and Fritz bemoans to Brian that he’s falling in love with Natalia, which complicates his plan of marrying for money and not love.  Sally leaves the group to eat dinner with her father, an American diplomat stationed in Germany who she boasts to everyone about their close relationship.  After Sally’s father stands her up, Brian starts to realize that maybe her persona isn’t as carefree and charmed as he originally assumed.  He also starts boning her to comfort her, so there’s that.

Why does Liza Minnelli’s hair remind me of Moira Rose’s in The Crows Have Eyes 3: The Crowening?  Liza said this look was crafted with help from her father, Vincente Minnelli, since he was well aware of what performers of this time period looked like.  The eyelashes were Liza’s idea, though, and good gravy, they make a statement.  When she showed Bob Fosse the final product, she was relieved when liked it since she had already cut and dyed her hair.

MeanwhiIe, Natalia and Fritz make out on a couch a little, leading Natalia to have a romantic crisis.  Natalia wants to marry him, but she’s afraid he’s after her money and concerned he doesn’t share her faith.  She asks for Sally’s advice because Sally’s a whore who does many screwings, and Sally is at a loss because she can’t possibly identify with Natalia’s problem of wanting to remain chaste.  

On the way home from Natalia’s, Sally picks up a dude named Maximillian at the laundromat, further complicating her own relationship with Brian.  Maxie is a politically ambivalent, charming, attractive, and also a very, very fucking rich and connected dude.  Sally is immediately drawn into his trap.  

When Max finds out about her and Brian’s relationship, it only encourages Max to attempt to swoon Brian as well.  This annoys Brian at first as he doesn’t want to share Sally, but eventually he gives into Max’s advances as they bond over their shared fascination of Sally’s persona and love of cozy sweaters.  Once he’s snared both of them, Max invites the pair on a trip to Africa, and Sally is over-the-moon for the idea.  Brian already knows Max is married and probably not an upstanding man, and these assumptions are only confirmed after an incident at a country biergarten that indicates the Nazi party may be stronger and more supported than Max previously considered. 

I honestly thought this song was historical because it’s such a well-written patriotic anthem.  So well-written, in fact, that its been absorbed by modern-day white nationalists.  Thanks, Cabaret, I hate it!

Brian returns home to Sally and instigates a fight, as he’s jealous of Max’s hold on her.  It is quickly revealed they’ve both been boinking Maxie-poo, which Sally takes personal offense to, as if she hadn’t just been caught cheating.  Brian storms out, starts a fight with a couple of guys from the Nazi party, and gets the shit kicked out of him.  Sally nurses him afterward, apologizes, and reveals that Max has abandoned them both by fleeing to Argentina.  Shortly after that, Sally finds out she’s pregnant, and without knowing who the father is, Brian proposes to her.  She accepts and decides to give up her dream of becoming an actress by planning to follow Brian back to Cambridge and be a housewife of a professor.

Fritz is still vexed about Natalia, as she will not accept his marriage proposal.  He reveals to Brian that he really is Jewish, and he is afraid if he tells Natalia she will hate him for pretending not to be.  Not only that, this confession will out him to everyone in Berlin, putting him at risk of violence.  Ultimately deciding he cannot possibly live without her, Fritz tells Natalia his secret, and they are immediately married.

Brian suddenly starts to pull away from Sally, as he seems more focused on the fucked-up state of Germany than Sally and the baby.  Sally, not receiving the constant assurance she needs from Brian, second guesses the eventual fate of their relationship and gets an abortion.  When Brian finds out he’s livid and attacks Sally for prioritizing her career over him and the baby.  She confirms she cannot possibly give up her dream of breaking into showbusiness, so it’s good they’re breaking up.  

They seem to part on good terms, however – Brian returns to England and Sally continues to perform at the Kit Kat Klub.  That night, The Master of Ceremonies reprises “Willkommen”, except this time to an audience filled with Nazis, alluding to the shit that’s gonna go down.  The end.

Cabaret is a cautionary tale of what can happen to a country when its citizens allow fascists to take over because they incorrectly think their ideology won’t affect them.  Brian is the only one vocal about the Nazi’s being a threat, but he is also the only one out of all of them who seem to care about his Jewish friends.  Max was under the impression that his money and influence would be enough to keep the Nazi party in check.  His sexuality would have been a problem if discovered, so instead he used his financial means to flee the country once he realized things were out of his control.  Sally is singularly focused on becoming a star, and even with the world crumbling around her, she doubles down on her lifestyle and accepts the fact one day it’ll eventually lead to her own death.  The Cabaret lives to entertain people, and even though their employees are victims of Nazi violence, the Master of Ceremonies parody them on stage, downplaying their influence and allowing the audience to laugh away their uneasiness.  It’s the drumroll to Springtime for Hitler and Germany, and very explicit whose lives are at stake when the Nazis obtain political power.