Merry Christmas in August! Full transparency here, I was so burned out by The Muppets Take Manhattan that I took an entire month break on this project. This was a good movie to dip my toe back in the water, as it is extremely charming, even though it is 90+ degrees outside and I’m generally melting. The amount of popsicles I’ve eaten this summer is not only staggering, it’s embarrassing.
The Muppet Christmas Carol is a true to form Muppets movie, starting with a panoramic landscape view, following-up with 4th wall breaking gags, physical comedy, jaunty songs, and sincere emotional moments. The Great Gonzo plays Charles Dickens, an omniscient narrator of the redemption story of Ebenezer Scrooge. He and his sidekick Rizzo provide the needed levity throughout the entire movie, while we watch Michael Caine make every version of a sad and distraught face he can muster in an hour and 30 minutes.
The opening number, “Scrooge”, is reminiscent of “Belle” from Beauty and the Beast – the entire town is singing about the fact Scrooge is the literal worst, and they wouldn’t waste spit on his grave. The cast is a good mix of Muppets and humans, but my favorite part of this song are the singing vegetables that also don’t like him. I was having intense Making Fiends flashbacks, and I couldn’t stop giggling.
“Eat vegetables for every meal, or your lips will start to peel, and your eyeballs will fall out, and your feet will smell like trout.”
Once Scrooge makes it to work, he lashes out at his employees. He first complains that millennials are buying avocado toast instead of paying their mortgage, and if they keep it up, he plans on evicting tenants left and right like he were an American landlord in the middle of a pandemic. Kermit, our Bob Cratchit of the film, advocates for workers rights, and while he succeeds in convincing Scrooge to close the next day for Christmas, he fails at preventing his colleagues from dressing up like… whatever this is and dancing around like it’s August and they’ve eaten their weight in watermelon fruit bars.
Deciding he’s had enough of the general public and they’re cheery, caring ways, Scrooge heads home to brood in peace and work on his night cheese. The rest of the Muppets, free of his tyranny, decide to celebrate by singing something that suspiciously sounds like the Christmas Vacation song.
Once Scrooge returns home, the real crux of the story begins. For a children’s’ movie, I was impressed at the detail given to set the ambiance for each ghost. There is a true sense of suspense before his former business partners arrive, starting with the excessive ringing of the bells and the extinguishing of the fire. The camera sweeps around the room, and seemingly nothing is amiss, but then you notice the fog rising from the stairwell. The shaky camera focuses on Scrooge’s face, sweating, in a panic, as the room around him is distorted. For a second you think it may be all in his head, until Statler and Waldorf, playing the ghosts of Jacob and Robert Marley, appear, and start ripping into Scrooge in true heckler fashion.
This is where I confess that I dislike Charles Dickens. I was forced to read Great Expectations, Oliver Twist, and A Tale of Two Cities in high school, as if there were a shortage of other white male authors we could read. His writing style is extremely tedious to me – I think I finally lost it when there were 3 pages in Great Expectations describing how someone butters their bread, and how particularly they eat it. Unfortunately, every other story written by him is guilty by association, including this Christmas classic that has been adapted 7000 times.
All this to say, I appreciated the Dickens burn when Scrooge utters, “There’s more of gravy than of grave about you.”
The Marley brothers warn Scrooge if he doesn’t alter his behavior, he’ll end up tortured and chained like the two of them and their several singing lock boxes. They warn him 3 ghosts will visit: one of Christmas past, one of Christmas present, and one of Christmas yet to come. The spirit of Christmas past reveals Scrooge’s value of money hindered his relationships, so his sweet girlfriend leaves him alone to stew like an incel for the next like 30 years. Conversely, Gonzo continues to exhibit a healthy chicken-based sexuality.
The ghost of Christmas present, while very large and jovial, counteracts any good-time feelings by allowing Fred to get in a few sweet burns against his uncle, and chases that with the knowledge Cratchie’s tiny son will die if he doesn’t get any money to treat his unknown, crutch-based disability.
The ghost of Christmas yet to come, who is a literal ring wraith, just points at shit to show Scrooge nobody is going to care when he dies. And for someone who, up until this point in the movie, didn’t seem to care about what others thought about him, is really bothered by this for some reason.
After the ghosts complete their haunting, Scrooge wakes up in his own bed, and is so motivated by his new lease on life that he visits all the shops Kermit told him would certainly be closed on Christmas. He buys everyone presents and gathers enough food to feed a feast for kings. He even makes that tiny caroling bunny lug around a massive turkey all around town, as a treat. As Scrooge’s new found-family sits around the table to celebrate the holiest of Christian holidays, the cast reprises “When Love is Found”. Awwwww.
Honestly, this is the only adaptation of this story I can stomach, and dare I say, enjoy? The Muppets are adorable, the songs are fairly good, the story is well paced, and Gonzo and Rizzo are the most adorable comedic relief throughout the entire movie. I almost burst into pieces after Rizzo offered jelly beans to an exasperated Gonzo. They’re so supportive of each other :cries:
Muppet Treasure Island is next, which is my brother-in-law’s favorite Muppet movie, so if this turns out to be garbage I’m holding him personally responsible.