Welcome to Muppet week! There are 7 Muppet movies on this list, so instead of watching them in the order they appear (and having to pay for several months of Disney+), I’m going to present them chronologically. I’m curious to see how they evolved over time, and if their quality diminishes.
For watching my fair share of The Muppet Show as a kid, I’ve never had the privilege of watching The Muppet Movie. Let me tell you straight off – it is a gem. The first scene shows the Muppets attending a screening of the movie you’re about to watch. Statler and Waldorf call the movie studio a dump, Professor Honeydew comes at Fozzie with a great burn (Well, then you’ll have to get another apartment, won’t you?), Sam Eagle displays his stoic patriotism (Does this film have socially redeeming value?), Gozno cuddles with a chicken – it’s all there. When the movie finally starts, we are treated to Kermit singing the iconic “Rainbow Connection”.
The first 5 minutes of this movie are a great indication of what the rest of it holds in store. It balances slapstick humor, puns, social commentary, 4th wall breaking gags, and emotional beats that catch the viewer off-guard in their earnestness. I lost my shit laughing one moment, only to tear up in the next.
The story is an approximate retelling of how The Muppets were formed. After serendipitously running into an agent in his swamp home, Kermit decides to travel to Hollywood and audition for a casting call looking for a talented frog. On the way, he runs into Fozzie, who Kermit tries to save from some unruly patrons of the El Sleezo Cafe by distracting them with a snazzy dance. Fozzie pulls the ‘ol “drinks on the house” gag, which sends the mob up to the roof so Kermit and him can sneak out. They decide to drive Fozzie’s Uncle’s Studebaker (his natural habitat) on a cross country road trip adventure so they can pursue their dreams of making millions of people happy.
We are then treated to the most jaunty song – I was literally bopping to it the minute it started. Kermit and Fozzie perform their best comedy duo gags, and it is intensely joyful.
But, of course, Kermit and Fozzie’s trip is immediately derailed by the pursuit of Doc Hopper, who wants Kermit to be the mascot for his frog leg restaurant chain. This is disturbing for a wide variety of reasons, of which Kermit vocalizes in the best line of the movie…
Kermit reiterates to Doc that his request is heinous, but Doc will not take no for an answer. This leads Fozzie and Kermit to employ unconventional means to try and evade him, including having Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem paint the Studebaker to blend in exactly with a billboard advertising a soda.
They soon after run into, literally, “The Prince of Plumbers” Gonzo and his chicken Camilla, and the 4 of them head to the state fair. With all those show chickens walking around, Gonzo gets a bit of a wandering eye, which triggers Camilla’s jealousy. They observe a beauty pageant awards show where Miss Piggy is crowned (of course), and Kermit falls in love with her at first sight.
In order to appease Camilla after his previous digressions, Gonzo buys every balloon in the joint, which sets him aloft, sailing about 7 knots away from the fair. The gang follows after him in a panic, but Gonzo can only appreciate the view from on high.
After a car chase scene between the newly formed gang and a shotgun-wielding Doc Hopper, Gonzo comes crashing down after a billboard pie hits the pursuing vehicle. Miss Piggy (who doesn’t know what’s going on) convinces the car to stop somewhere for the night, and she puts the big moves on Kermit, exhibiting all the traits of her extra self.
Right when things are starting to get hot and heavy, Miss Piggy is called by her agent, abandoning Kermit at the table. He commiserates with Rowlf, only to find out that Doc has kidnapped Miss Piggy and is holding her ransom.
Much like The Muppet Show itself, this film is packed full of celebrity cameos, including (but not limited to) Lillian from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Reuben from Oceans 11, Bob Hope, Richard Pryor, and Steve Martin. The most entertaining bit may be Mel Brooks’ portrayal of a mad German doctor who is only interested in lobotomizing Kermit for funsies.
After Kermit’s failed rescue attempt, Miss Piggy decides she’s had enough of this damsel in distress nonsense, and kicks the everliving shit out of her captors, with the craziest eyes I’ve seen on a puppet since Meet the Feebles.
After a brief patriotic interlude (presumably to appease Sam), a flat tire forces the gang to pull over and sleep by the side of the road around a campfire. Without help, Kermit is disheartened that he and his friends will not be able to make the audition in time. Gonzo, who is a little like a turkey, sings a song that perfectly articulates everyone’s feelings about finding other people who share the same dream, and their quest to live it.
“There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met.
Part heaven, part space, or have I found my place?
You can just visit, but I plan to stay.
I’m going to go back there someday.”
The songs do a great job at illustrating the characters’ personality, and they change genres depending on who is singing it. Gonzo is weird, but he’s a mushball at heart, which is reflected in the quiet sincerity of the song.
After Kermit’s very important introspective conversation, The Electric Mayhem show up, informing Kermit they were inspired by his journey, too, and they can give everyone a lift to Hollywood. But not before heading into a ghost town to have one final showdown with Doc Hopper, who has now amassed a gang to take Kermit and his friends out. Animal eats their new friend Honeydew’s conveniently presented growing potion and scares away Doc Hopper and his group of bandits.
The Muppets successfully make their Hollywood audition, and the studio head takes one look at Kermit and decides to offer him the “standard rich and famous contract”. Kermit and his friends immediately start shooting a movie, reveling in the fact they found each other, and now they are doing what they love.
The amount of love put into this movie shows in every aspect. The story itself is referential to the feelings of Jim Henson and his team, and the end scene where all their puppet creations are singing a revised version of “Rainbow Connection” hit me straight in the feels. The craft aspects of the movie, too, are just impressive, and there were several scenes I was amazed by:
- Kermit playing a banjo in the swamp
- The wide shot of Kermit riding a bicycle, and the adorable faces he makes
- Kermit and Fozzie dancing at the cafe (2-3 KICK!)
- When The Electric Mayhem play in the church, every shingle, floorboard, window, and plank of wood holding it together moves with the beat of the song.
- Gonzo sailing across the sky like the original Carl Frederickson
- The entire set recreation of the plot of the movie, only for it to be destroyed by a crazy light technician a minute later
- The costumes, of course, are amazing. Miss Piggy’s constant wardrobe changes, especially in the romance montage, were stellar. I appreciated they made Doc Hopper look like a discount Colonel Sanders. Also, I want Gonzo’s hat with the tiny little faucet on it.
I really can’t chat up this movie enough. This is my peak aesthetic, and I’m glad this project forced me to watch it. This whole thing might be worth it for the mere fact this movie is now in my rotation.
I have a feeling it can only go down from here.