Happy Halloween!  I’ve got a spooky banger of a movie for you, so grab your eclipse glasses and heed the prototype Hercules muses warning against proceeding into Seymour’s basement… this is Little Shop of Horrors!

This musical is based on the movie Little Shop of Horrors, filmed in 1960 by Roger Corman in less than a week using all the same sets as the previous movie that was shot on the lot.  It is regarded as one of the worst movies ever made, but the lure of a plant begging for food was too much for Howard Ashman to resist.  He had fond memories of watching the film on late night television when he was a child, even inspiring him to write a Little Shop knockoff when he was 16-years-old.  It took him and Alan Menkin 8 months to write the show, and it earned them their first nomination for Best Original Song.  Rightfully so, these numbers completely slap, and I even found myself humming along to the few doo-wop numbers.  The musical was later adapted into this movie, and while it is wayyyyy less dark than its source material, it is incredibly enjoyable.

It’s a week after an unexpected astronomical event and Audrey and Seymour are working at a fairly vacant flower shop that has been struggling due to its location on Skid Row.  Seymour is a bit of a bumbling (but well meaning) orphan that shop owner Cosmo Castorini Mr. Mushnik gave shelter and a job to several years ago.  Audrey is in an abusive relationship with some drip, which continually distresses Mr. Mushnik, and most importantly Seymour, who timidly carries a torch for Audrey.  It’s easy to fall in love with her – she’s sincere, earnest, and incredibly kind to everyone (even to those who don’t deserve it).  Seymour and Audrey both dream of lifting themselves out of poverty, and Seymour stumbles into a plan to do it… Audrey II.

On the day of the solar eclipse, Seymour purchased a strange and unusual plant for $1.95.  He convinces Mr. Mushnik to place the plant, which he’s named Audrey II (EEP!), in the window to attract customers, and it immediately brings my favorite mockumentairan Christopher Guest into the fold.  He buys $50$100 (TWICE AS MANY) worth of roses, which starts a chain reaction of orders being placed because of Audrey II’s lure.

After an exciting day of non-stop business, Audrey II starts to look a little down.  While Seymour laments he doesn’t know how to take care of Audrey II’s needs, he accidentally cuts himself, triggering Audrey II’s bloodlust.  Seymour begins to slice his hands to feed Audrey II, which is exactly as gross as it sounds and skeeved me out to no end.  The constant stream of blood causes the plant to grow larger and larger, making it harder to satiate its appetite.

Audrey II starts to gain a local following, earning a feature in the papers and a spot on a local radio show hosted by John Candy.  This completely changes the trajectory of Mr. Mushnik’s business for the better, and with Seymour’s new found success, he feels the pressure to keep Audrey II healthy, even at the detriment of his own health.  With all the new money coming in, Seymour provides Audrey a path to leave her sadist boyfriend, Steve Martin, but her fears of his retaliation keep her in the relationship.

Disheartened by Audrey’s refusal, Seymour returns to the flower shop and is surprised when Oogie Boogie prototype Audrey II starts talking to him.  See, Twoey is hungry enough to eat a person, and convinces Seymour him and human Audrey’s life would be a lot easier if The Dentist were no longer living.  Not wanting to lose a limb to keep the plant alive, and figuring The Dentist was as worthy of a victim as anyone else, Seymour visits The Dentist at his place of business with the intention of turning him into plant food.  He chickens out at the last minute, but lucky for Seymour, The Dentist’s Mad Max-like laughing gas mask asphyxiates him instead.  Now with her abuser gone, Audrey and Seymour confess their feelings for each other.  If Leslie Ann Warren and Ellen Greene have taught me anything its that I have a weakness for blondes that use that baby voice.  I’m basic af.

The quandary Seymour now finds himself in is how to cut Dickhead DDS into digestible parts for Audrey II.  Mr. Mushnik witnesses Seymour hacking up the body with an axe and proves he’s not a homie by threatening to rat out Seymour to the cops unless he abandons the financially lucrative Audrey II and runs away.  Audrey II solves this problem fairly quickly by slurping up Mushnik, bringing its body count up to two.

What I found kind of curious about this adaptation is Seymour’s lack of agency in these deaths.  He doesn’t save the dentist, but he doesn’t shoot him either.  In the stage show, Seymour deliberately lures Mr. Mushnik into Audrey II, whereas this film version he kind of backs him up into the plant, but tries to stop his consumption last minute.  It makes me wonder if perhaps someone thought the audience wouldn’t be chill with Seymour knowing he’d kill everyone around Audrey in order to stay close to her.  Rick Moranis’ dorky charm has its limits, apparently.

With Mr. Mushnik gone, Seymour’s star continues to rise, but he can’t take the guilt of continuing to feed Audrey II.  Seymour proposes marriage to Audrey and decides now is the perfect opportunity for the two of them to run away from Skid Row.  Audrey II has other plans, however.  The otherworldly plant sets a trap for Seymour by revealing to Audrey she can talk, luring her over to the flower shop and skirting the line of reenacting tentacle hentai wayyyyy too closely. 

Seymour rescues Audrey at the last minute, confesses to his secret of sort-off letting people die to feed the plant, and Audrey weirdly doesn’t seem to care about Seymour’s part the plant murders?   Instead, they decide to kill Audrey II to prevent it from multiplying, electrocute it, and run off to the suburbs to live happily ever after… the end?

The original ending to the film had Audrey II eat Seymour, multiply, and take over the world, which I think would have been flippin’ sweet!?  We’re talking horror here, right?  It’s in the title of the show.  This happy ending bullshit felt strange when I watched this movie the first time, and the off-tone feeling was justified when I found the alternate ending.  How cool would it have been to watch Audrey II Godzilla New York City and burst through the theater screen??  Like COME ON, there’s no contest!!  WHO APPROVED THIS CHANGE??  The only clue I could suss out was in an interview with Ellen Greene where she suggested that audiences didn’t want to see Audrey die, which, fair.  I loved Audrey, too.  But that doesn’t mean that Seymour can’t die, or that the whole world can’t be destroyed.  I mean, at that point Seymour kind of deserved to be consumed by his own creation.

The alternate ending was shot so perfectly and showcases Lyle Conway’s fabulous vision for Audrey II.  Frank Oz was the only director that could have made this picture – the puppet looked so flippin’ fantastic that it was hard for me to believe it was all practical effects.  There was a whole team of puppeteers that operated Audrey II, and every vine that moved, every tiny Audrey II that sang, every lip curl, and every goop-filled pore helped bring her to life.  It was incredibly interesting for me to see what other productions did to create the several Audrey IIs that are needed to show her progressive growth throughout the show.  And if this first act Audrey II doesn’t give you nightmares, I don’t know what will.

Sweet dreams, kiddos!  And remember, don’t feed your plants body parts, it (almost) always ends badly!

The post #41 Little Shop of Horrors (1986) appeared first on Welcome to Oaty McLoafy!.

OK, look.  I’m burnt out.  I was a different person when I started Muppet-palooza: I was on furlough, and I naively thought I could stream all of these during the 7-day free trial of Disney+.  The Muppet Movie was so glorious that my expectations of the other 6 movies were… I’m not going to say high, but I was fairly optimistic in the direction this was heading.  After all, I watched 7 Fast and Furious movies in 7 days, and while I thought that would be torture, I came out the other side an indoctrinated member of the Toretto family.

It’s been several months and 2 Disney+ payments under my belt and I just want to be free of this project.  But, I made a commitment and goddamn it, I’m going to follow through.  

This movie is not bad by any stretch, and it has a lot of redeeming qualities, including this melodramatic death scene like 5 minutes into the movie:

I’m not going to bore you with the plot of this, because I’m guessing most people know the basic touchstones of Treasure Island.  This is actually by design, because the team aimed to create another “classic” movie, riding on the coat tails of A Muppet Christmas Carol.  Orphan gets a treasure map, recruits a crew of pirates to go and find the treasure, and is swindled by the kindly cook to give up the map and lead the bad guys to the treasure.  A sword fight between the bad guys and the good guys ensues, and the good guys get the treasure in the end.

Let’s dive into what works about this movie:

• My first thought during the opening credits scene was oh wow, this sounds like Pirates of the Caribbean.  I shortly discovered this is because Hans Zimmer composed this.  It is canon that Muppet Treasure Island walked so Pirates of the Caribbean could run.  There are few more iconic movie scores than Pirates.  Blah blah Star Wars blah blah Harry Potter blah blah Jaws Indiana Jones blahhhhh…  Pirates is better than anything John Williams ever did, don’t @ me.

OK, I’m clearly kidding about John Williams, but you can’t tell me that 17 years after Pirates came out that this isn’t still a bop.

Sorry, I got distracted, what was I talking about?  Right.  Muppets.

• The songs are fairly good, but this is the obvious standout:

The costumes, the choreography, and the humor – it’s the perfect Muppet movie song.  This song is why The Muppets Take Manhattan makes me so mad, because it illustrates the kind of excellence the team is capable of.

• The cast is pretty great.  Tim Curry is doing his best Tim Curry impression, and has enough makeup in his eyebrows that it’d make a drag queen blush.  NOT TO MENTION FUCKING EDINA MONSOON IS IN THIS FOR A HOT MINUTE KICKING ASS AND TAKING NAMES.  Also, the kid who plays Jim looks like he’s thrilled to be there, which showcases what happens when you cast someone who wants to be in a movie, as opposed to the sad children they forced in front of the camera emotionally dragging down Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

• The sets are truly impressive, as always.  The scene where they burn down the tavern after shoving a bunch of bad guys through broken windows and walls was a joy to watch.

The ship is also pretty cool, which they show in more detail in this behind-the-scenes clip.  There is also a fairly amusing story where the director admits to drugging Tim Curry with Dramamine so he wouldn’t get seasick, which had the side effect of making him almost comatose. 

• The running gag with Rizzo and the cruise ship rats.  Stupid stuff like that is my aesthetic, but the line about the midnight margaritas sent me.

• Sam Eagle.  I feel like I haven’t adequately expressed my love for Sam Eagle in any of the other movie reviews.  He is perfect – the side eye, his curt and earnest statements, and his inability to get caught up in the silliness of the Muppets…  We should protect him at all costs.

I am 100% certain when they cast Jack Davenport as Norrington in Pirates, it was because he did the best Sam Eagle impression.

…I had no idea that this review would just lead to me gushing about another, slightly unrelated movie.  Damn you, Hans Zimmer!

• Miss Piggy’s costume on the island is fabulous.  I’m not joking when I affirm that Miss Piggy is a fashion icon and we should bow down to her.

I also enjoyed she had relationships with almost all the men in this movie, leading her to utter, “I’m beginning to see a pattern in the men I date.”

Also, Kermit has an embroidered Miss Piggy tattoo, which made me giggle.

Things that didn’t work for me:

• The movie is extremely predictable, so there aren’t any stakes, which is probably why I found it hard to keep my attention.  Jim is a kid, so even if his house burns down, or he’s being threatened by pirates, no harm was ever going to come to him.  There was a 0% chance Kermit and the crew wouldn’t end up with the treasure, excited to embark on their next adventure.  I recognize this movie, more than any other Muppet movie, was targeted toward kids, so while this might not have been captivating for me, it very well could be exciting for a younger audience.
• Green screen flipping Kermit.  Physical effects always play better with the Muppets, and the CGI just looked strange.
• There was this terrible trend in the 90s where a pop rendition of the big emotional ballad would play during the ending credits of a movie.  The most famous ones are probably from Beauty and the Beast and Titanic (Thank you, Celine Dion), but we get “Love Led Us Here”, covered by two country stars I’ve never heard of.  It’s so of-its-time, and it has not aged well.  The song in the movie is passable, mostly because it’s cut between scenes of the pirates throwing treasure all over themselves. 

This movie is perfect if you know a kid who loves pirates.  If you’re looking for a Muppet movie filled with more adult-ish humor and touching emotional moments, maybe skip this one. 

Now, we jump forward 15 years to The Muppets.  Jason Segel, here I come…

The post #93 Muppet Treasure Island (1996) appeared first on Welcome to Oaty McLoafy!.

The Muppet Christmas Carol is a true to form Muppets movie, starting with a panoramic landscape view, following-up with 4th wall breaking gags, physical comedy, jaunty songs, and sincere emotional moments.  The Great Gonzo plays Charles Dickens, an omniscient narrator of the redemption story of Ebenezer Scrooge.  He and his sidekick Rizzo provide the needed levity throughout the entire movie, while we watch Michael Caine make every version of a sad and distraught face he can muster in an hour and 30 minutes.

The opening number, “Scrooge”, is reminiscent of “Belle” from Beauty and the Beast – the entire town is singing about the fact Scrooge is the literal worst, and they wouldn’t waste spit on his grave.  The cast is a good mix of Muppets and humans, but my favorite part of this song are the singing vegetables that also don’t like him.  I was having intense Making Fiends flashbacks, and I couldn’t stop giggling.

“Eat vegetables for every meal, or your lips will start to peel, and your eyeballs will fall out, and your feet will smell like trout.”

Once Scrooge makes it to work, he lashes out at his employees.  He first complains that millennials are buying avocado toast instead of paying their mortgage, and if they keep it up, he plans on evicting tenants left and right like he were an American landlord in the middle of a pandemic.  Kermit, our Bob Cratchit of the film, advocates for workers rights, and while he succeeds in convincing Scrooge to close the next day for Christmas, he fails at preventing his colleagues from dressing up like… whatever this is and dancing around like it’s August and they’ve eaten their weight in watermelon fruit bars.

Deciding he’s had enough of the general public and they’re cheery, caring ways, Scrooge heads home to brood in peace and work on his night cheese.  The rest of the Muppets, free of his tyranny, decide to celebrate by singing something that suspiciously sounds like the Christmas Vacation song.

Once Scrooge returns home, the real crux of the story begins.  For a children’s’ movie, I was impressed at the detail given to set the ambiance for each ghost.  There is a true sense of suspense before his former business partners arrive, starting with the excessive ringing of the bells and the extinguishing of the fire.  The camera sweeps around the room, and seemingly nothing is amiss, but then you notice the fog rising from the stairwell.  The shaky camera focuses on Scrooge’s face, sweating, in a panic, as the room around him is distorted.  For a second you think it may be all in his head, until Statler and Waldorf, playing the ghosts of Jacob and Robert Marley, appear, and start ripping into Scrooge in true heckler fashion. 

This is where I confess that I dislike Charles Dickens.  I was forced to read Great Expectations, Oliver Twist, and A Tale of Two Cities in high school, as if there were a shortage of other white male authors we could read.  His writing style is extremely tedious to me – I think I finally lost it when there were 3 pages in Great Expectations describing how someone butters their bread, and how particularly they eat it.  Unfortunately, every other story written by him is guilty by association, including this Christmas classic that has been adapted 7000 times.

All this to say, I appreciated the Dickens burn when Scrooge utters, “There’s more of gravy than of grave about you.”

The Marley brothers warn Scrooge if he doesn’t alter his behavior, he’ll end up tortured and chained like the two of them and their several singing lock boxes.  They warn him 3 ghosts will visit: one of Christmas past, one of Christmas present, and one of Christmas yet to come.  The spirit of Christmas past reveals Scrooge’s value of money hindered his relationships, so his sweet girlfriend leaves him alone to stew like an incel for the next like 30 years.  Conversely, Gonzo continues to exhibit a healthy chicken-based sexuality.  

The ghost of Christmas present, while very large and jovial, counteracts any good-time feelings by allowing Fred to get in a few sweet burns against his uncle, and chases that with the knowledge Cratchie’s tiny son will die if he doesn’t get any money to treat his unknown, crutch-based disability.

The ghost of Christmas yet to come, who is a literal ring wraith, just points at shit to show Scrooge nobody is going to care when he dies.  And for someone who, up until this point in the movie, didn’t seem to care about what others thought about him, is really bothered by this for some reason.

After the ghosts complete their haunting, Scrooge wakes up in his own bed, and is so motivated by his new lease on life that he visits all the shops Kermit told him would certainly be closed on Christmas.  He buys everyone presents and gathers enough food to feed a feast for kings.  He even makes that tiny caroling bunny lug around a massive turkey all around town, as a treat.  As Scrooge’s new found-family sits around the table to celebrate the holiest of Christian holidays, the cast reprises “When Love is Found”.  Awwwww.

Honestly, this is the only adaptation of this story I can stomach, and dare I say, enjoy?  The Muppets are adorable, the songs are fairly good, the story is well paced, and Gonzo and Rizzo are the most adorable comedic relief throughout the entire movie.  I almost burst into pieces after Rizzo offered jelly beans to an exasperated Gonzo.  They’re so supportive of each other :cries:

Muppet Treasure Island is next, which is my brother-in-law’s favorite Muppet movie, so if this turns out to be garbage I’m holding him personally responsible.

The post #83 The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) appeared first on Welcome to Oaty McLoafy!.

The Muppets Take Manhattan has a tone problem.  And a story problem.  And the songs are pretty lackluster.  And there might have been a handful of jokes I laughed at?  I fell asleep during this movie… twice.  Why is it so high on the list?

The story revolves around the newly college-graduated Muppets, as they move to New York and try to sell their new musical, “Manhattan Melodies”, which has nothing to do with Manhattan, and instead focuses on the impending nuptials of Kermit and Miss Piggy.  They pitch their show for months (even though it is not complete because it is missing something) to all kinds of producers, but eventually run out of money and have to find alternate jobs.  Instead of staying in New York, the script does the dumbest thing ever by splitting up the Muppets, scattering them all across the country to secure jobs high school students would qualify for, even though it has already been established they all have college degrees (maybe this is commentary?  Because in its unbelievability, by today’s standards it felt too real).  Kermit stays behind to continue to search for a producer so he can lure all his friends back to the city with gainful employment.  He travels to the top of the Empire State Building to reminisce on what he lost, but in this scene I was mostly distracted by the fact the camera is pointed on the back of his eyeballs the entire time.  These bouncing white obs were increasingly disorienting to look at because my brain kept trying to fill in some eyelids.

This sad, motivational event happens 30 minutes into the movie, when usually it would be reserved for the end of the second act.  The audience then has to slog through 30 more minutes of the same plot, except with none of the other goofy Muppets to bounce jokes off of.  They are replaced with a boring human waitress named Jenny who has no personality and only exists to make Miss Piggy jealous.  There are some moments of levity, but they’re immediately followed by Kermit and Miss Piggy moping because they miss their friends.

Then, Kermit finally sells the show, and after calling Jenny and Miss Piggy to tell them the good news, is hit by a car and gets amnesia.  Jenny and Miss Piggy can’t find him, so they work without him to get all the other Muppets back to New York and rehearse the show for a premiere in two weeks.  After Kermit is discharged from the hospital, he starts his life over by working in advertising on Madison Ave.  Sidenote: I would have LOVED if Mad Men were a gritty remake of the last 10 minutes of The Muppets Take Manhattan, where instead of murdering someone and stealing their identity so he can leave Korea, Don is hit by a car and falls into advertising on accident.

Hours before the show’s opening, the Muppets find Kermit, but he doesn’t remember any of them.  It’s not until Miss Piggy hits him that his memory comes back, because Miss Piggy’s violence solves all the problems in the Muppet universe.  He realizes the thing that is missing from the musical is more Muppets, and they jump on stage, perform the show, and Miss Piggy and Kermit get married and presumably live happily ever after.

Ultimately, The Muppet Movie and The Muppets Take Manhattan are the same premise – a group of individuals want to pursue their dream of working in show business.  The strength of The Muppet Movie is the emotional core; Kermit travels the country and finds friends that believe in his vision, and together they work their way toward Hollywood to make millions of people happy.  The solidarity is what makes the movie work.  The Muppets Take Manhattan answers the question “What if the movie executive said no?” and the Muppets slummed around for months, bummed out they can’t sell their show.  They break up, and Kermit has to carry the dream on his own.  The core of the movie isn’t hope – it’s loneliness and despair.  The moment things start to look encouraging, Kermit – and I cannot stress this enough – is hit by a car, and ends up in the hospital, leading into the most ridiculous 15-minute subplot that was unneeded so close to the end, if at all.  The Muppets performing their show at the end does not feel like the same emotional payout that The Muppet Movie earns.  It’s because it’s rushed to its conclusion, and Kermit’s absence in its realization makes it feel hollow.

That being said, there are some cute moments, but they’re pretty spaced out:

• Miss Piggy chasing down a guy who stole her purse in the most fierce way.  
• Gonzo becomes a stunt performer in Michigan, and the dude pulling Gonzo on water skis is wearing a chicken suit and riding on the boat with a bunch of chickens.
• When Kermit gets amnesia, he’s unable to control his voice modulation and it sounds robotic and strange.

The “Manhattan Melodies” songs are mediocre, which makes the end fairly lackluster.  With one exception, “I’m Gonna Always Love You”, where the Muppets are imagined as babies.  It comes out of left field, as if they realized they needed to inject some fun in the movie, so they added this one-off number of the Muppets goofing around and looking adorably cute and ripe for merchandising opportunities and spin-offs.

I’m going on record now to express my distaste for Doo-Wop music, and man… this is a great embodiment of it.  But I do acknowledge this is the only scene in the hour and 40 minutes that stands out.  Even then, it doesn’t instill desire enough in me to relive this movie in any capacity.

Next is The Muppet Christmas Carol, which I’m fairly certain I’ve seen before and enjoyed, so it can only go up from here.

The post #72 The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984) appeared first on Welcome to Oaty McLoafy!.

The film starts with a great, true to Muppet form, 4th wall breaking bit where Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo are floating across the sky in a hot air balloon watching the opening credits, and complaining how long they are taking.  Gonzo debates falling from the hot air balloon, because it looks like it would be fun, but Kermit reminds him he may only be able to do that once.

The opening musical number, “Hey, a Movie!”, tells the audience exactly what they should expect – The gang are reporters and they are investigating a jewel heist overseas.  The Great Muppet Caper is much closer to a standard Old Hollywood-type musical, with large dance numbers filled with humans on a soundstage, but with the same ridiculous physical gags we expect from the Muppets, such as Gonzo getting hit by a car, Jake falling through an open manhole, and an dynamite-fueled explosion.

Fozzie and Kermit, identical twin reporters (they are mistaken for each other the entire movie, and it surprisingly did not get old), travel to London with their photographer, Gonzo, to interview Lady Holiday, a famous fashion designer whose jewels were ripped off of her in the opening number by her brother.  After enjoying 9th class seating, they are chucked out of the plane mid-flight, and land in a duck pond.  They ask a nearby fellow for the best recommendation for free lodging, and after deciding against a bus terminal, they head toward the Happiness Hotel, which serendipitously is housing all the other Muppets.

They decide to visit Lady Holiday at work and request an interview, and instead Kermit mistakes her new receptionist, Miss Piggy, as the lady herself, and is immediately smitten with her nice eyes and sturdy legs.  Miss Piggy does not correct him after he invites her on a date, and lies about where she lives when Kermit offers to pick her up.  Back at the hotel, Kermit starts to freshen himself up, while Fozzie makes the argument that he needs to accompany them on their date.  Kermit tries to politely explain that Fozzie would be a 3rd wheel, as he needs to make a good impression on Lady Holiday, in this charming get-ready number “Steppin’ Out with a Star”.

I really appreciated how much care they took to emulate the musicals of the 30s and 40s, not only in subject, but in how they were shot and choreographed.  Later on, there is even a synchronized swimming musical number, featuring a real goldfish, an underwater harpist, and a terrifying practical effect where air comes out of Miss Piggy’s nose.  Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem are the only exception to this aesthetic, as they sing a few atmospheric-type songs that are very on-brand for them, but not necessarily in the tone of the Golden Age.

In a 7-minute gag, Miss Piggy gains entry to a boujee house in order to pretend it is hers when Kermit comes calling.  While I was bored for most of this, I did love how it ended with Kermit and Miss Piggy caught in a closet receiving a restaurant recommendation by an unfazed elderly couple (half of which was John Cleese).  Kermit and everyone else who is staying at the Happiness Hotel make their way to this restaurant… which is more like a supper club.  After realizing the food is much more expensive than they can afford, Gonzo hustles the patrons for money while Kermit tries to distract Miss Piggy on the dance floor.  Miss Piggy gets her Marilyn Monroe moment in the restaurant, being surrounded by a gaggle of adoring men in suits and top hats, which is extremely on brand for her.  

We are then formally introduced to the real Lady Holiday’s brother, Nicky Holiday, the dad from Beethoven, who is doing his best Steve Martin impression.  After a power outage, he nabs his sister’s diamond necklace, and later frames her assistant, the newly outed Miss Piggy, for the crime, and she is arrested.  Although Miss Piggy lied about her identity, Kermit knows she did not steal the necklace, and decides to rope his friends into catching Nicky stealing a larger prize, the baseball diamond, from a nearby museum red-handed (but what color were his hands before?).

The gang stakes out the Mallory Gallery and Tom Cruises’ it though the skylight to attack Nicky while he was grabbing the diamond.  Meanwhile, Miss Piggy (sorry, I mean Hamhock), strong arms her way through the metal jail cell bars, hijacks a cement truck, and drives a motorcycle through a stained glass window to karate chop Nicky’s accomplices and save her new friends.  Having been proven innocent of her crimes, Miss Piggy and the gang head back to America, where they are pushed out of a plane 30,000 feet from their destination.

Honestly, I was expecting any subsequent Muppet movie to be underwhelming in comparison to the original, but this was a solid film, in concept, writing, and song.  The reoccurring gags were charming (I lost my shit every time that fucking lightbulb broke); the 4th wall breaking was :chefs kiss:, especially the fight between Kermit and Miss Piggy where he chides her for overacting; and the music was lovingly referential to a time period where musicals were at their height in popularity.

Next is The Muppets Take Manhattan, which I am expecting more Old Hollywood glam. 

The post #87 The Great Muppet Caper (1981) appeared first on Welcome to Oaty McLoafy!.

For watching my fair share of The Muppet Show as a kid, I’ve never had the privilege of watching The Muppet Movie.  Let me tell you straight off – it is a gem.  The first scene shows the Muppets attending a screening of the movie you’re about to watch.  Statler and Waldorf call the movie studio a dump, Professor Honeydew comes at Fozzie with a great burn (Well, then you’ll have to get another apartment, won’t you?), Sam Eagle displays his stoic patriotism (Does this film have socially redeeming value?), Gozno cuddles with a chicken – it’s all there.  When the movie finally starts, we are treated to Kermit singing the iconic “Rainbow Connection”.

The first 5 minutes of this movie are a great indication of what the rest of it holds in store.  It balances slapstick humor, puns, social commentary, 4th wall breaking gags, and emotional beats that catch the viewer off-guard in their earnestness.  I lost my shit laughing one moment, only to tear up in the next.

The story is an approximate retelling of how The Muppets were formed.  After serendipitously running into an agent in his swamp home, Kermit decides to travel to Hollywood and audition for a casting call looking for a talented frog.  On the way, he runs into Fozzie, who Kermit tries to save from some unruly patrons of the El Sleezo Cafe by distracting them with a snazzy dance.  Fozzie pulls the ‘ol “drinks on the house” gag, which sends the mob up to the roof so Kermit and him can sneak out.  They decide to drive Fozzie’s Uncle’s Studebaker (his natural habitat) on a cross country road trip adventure so they can pursue their dreams of making millions of people happy.

We are then treated to the most jaunty song – I was literally bopping to it the minute it started.  Kermit and Fozzie perform their best comedy duo gags, and it is intensely joyful.

But, of course, Kermit and Fozzie’s trip is immediately derailed by the pursuit of Doc Hopper, who wants Kermit to be the mascot for his frog leg restaurant chain.  This is disturbing for a wide variety of reasons, of which Kermit vocalizes in the best line of the movie…

Kermit reiterates to Doc that his request is heinous, but Doc will not take no for an answer.  This leads Fozzie and Kermit to employ unconventional means to try and evade him, including having Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem paint the Studebaker to blend in exactly with a billboard advertising a soda.

They soon after run into, literally, “The Prince of Plumbers” Gonzo and his chicken Camilla, and the 4 of them head to the state fair.  With all those show chickens walking around, Gonzo gets a bit of a wandering eye, which triggers Camilla’s jealousy.  They observe a beauty pageant awards show where Miss Piggy is crowned (of course), and Kermit falls in love with her at first sight.

In order to appease Camilla after his previous digressions, Gonzo buys every balloon in the joint, which sets him aloft, sailing about 7 knots away from the fair.  The gang follows after him in a panic, but Gonzo can only appreciate the view from on high.

After a car chase scene between the newly formed gang and a shotgun-wielding Doc Hopper, Gonzo comes crashing down after a billboard pie hits the pursuing vehicle.  Miss Piggy (who doesn’t know what’s going on) convinces the car to stop somewhere for the night, and she puts the big moves on Kermit, exhibiting all the traits of her extra self.

Right when things are starting to get hot and heavy, Miss Piggy is called by her agent, abandoning Kermit at the table.  He commiserates with Rowlf, only to find out that Doc has kidnapped Miss Piggy and is holding her ransom. 

Much like The Muppet Show itself, this film is packed full of celebrity cameos, including (but not limited to) Lillian from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Reuben from Oceans 11, Bob Hope, Richard Pryor, and Steve Martin.  The most entertaining bit may be Mel Brooks’ portrayal of a mad German doctor who is only interested in lobotomizing Kermit for funsies.

After Kermit’s failed rescue attempt, Miss Piggy decides she’s had enough of this damsel in distress nonsense, and kicks the everliving shit out of her captors, with the craziest eyes I’ve seen on a puppet since Meet the Feebles.

After a brief patriotic interlude (presumably to appease Sam), a flat tire forces the gang to pull over and sleep by the side of the road around a campfire.  Without help, Kermit is disheartened that he and his friends will not be able to make the audition in time.  Gonzo, who is a little like a turkey, sings a song that perfectly articulates everyone’s feelings about finding other people who share the same dream, and their quest to live it.

“There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met.
Part heaven, part space, or have I found my place?
You can just visit, but I plan to stay.
I’m going to go back there someday.”

The songs do a great job at illustrating the characters’ personality, and they change genres depending on who is singing it.  Gonzo is weird, but he’s a mushball at heart, which is reflected in the quiet sincerity of the song.

After Kermit’s very important introspective conversation, The Electric Mayhem show up, informing Kermit they were inspired by his journey, too, and they can give everyone a lift to Hollywood.  But not before heading into a ghost town to have one final showdown with Doc Hopper, who has now amassed a gang to take Kermit and his friends out.  Animal eats their new friend Honeydew’s conveniently presented growing potion and scares away Doc Hopper and his group of bandits. 

The Muppets successfully make their Hollywood audition, and the studio head takes one look at Kermit and decides to offer him the “standard rich and famous contract”.  Kermit and his friends immediately start shooting a movie, reveling in the fact they found each other, and now they are doing what they love.

The amount of love put into this movie shows in every aspect.  The story itself is referential to the feelings of Jim Henson and his team, and the end scene where all their puppet creations are singing a revised version of “Rainbow Connection” hit me straight in the feels.  The craft aspects of the movie, too, are just impressive, and there were several scenes I was amazed by:

• Kermit playing a banjo in the swamp
• The wide shot of Kermit riding a bicycle, and the adorable faces he makes
• Kermit and Fozzie dancing at the cafe (2-3 KICK!)
• When The Electric Mayhem play in the church, every shingle, floorboard, window, and plank of wood holding it together moves with the beat of the song.
• Gonzo sailing across the sky like the original Carl Frederickson
• The entire set recreation of the plot of the movie, only for it to be destroyed by a crazy light technician a minute later
• The costumes, of course, are amazing.  Miss Piggy’s constant wardrobe changes, especially in the romance montage, were stellar.  I appreciated they made Doc Hopper look like a discount Colonel Sanders.  Also, I want Gonzo’s hat with the tiny little faucet on it.

I really can’t chat up this movie enough.  This is my peak aesthetic, and I’m glad this project forced me to watch it.  This whole thing might be worth it for the mere fact this movie is now in my rotation.  

I have a feeling it can only go down from here.

The post #47 The Muppet Movie (1979) appeared first on Welcome to Oaty McLoafy!.